Low Libido Postpartum: What’s Going On & How to Cope

If your sex drive is nowhere to be found after having a baby, you’re not alone. Many new moms experience low libido postpartum, and it’s completely normal. Between physical recovery, hormonal shifts, and emotional overwhelm, intimacy often takes a backseat — and that’s okay.

Let’s break down why postpartum libido drops, what’s normal, and how to support yourself through it.

🧠 Why Is My Sex Drive So Low?

Several factors can contribute to decreased desire after childbirth:

1. Hormonal Changes

After birth, estrogen and progesterone levels plummet. If you’re breastfeeding, prolactin (the milk-producing hormone) increases, which can further suppress libido and cause vaginal dryness.

2. Exhaustion

Between night feedings, diaper changes, and round-the-clock care, sleep is scarce. It’s hard to feel sexy when you’re running on fumes.

3. Body Image

Your body has changed — and that can affect how you feel about being touched or seen, especially in intimate moments.

4. Pain or Discomfort

Healing from tearing, stitches, a C-section, or pelvic floor changes can make physical intimacy feel uncomfortable or even painful.

5. Mental Load

Being “touched out” from constant baby care or carrying the emotional weight of motherhood can make you crave space, not sex.

💬 What’s Normal?

It’s normal for libido to be low for weeks — or even months — after birth. There’s no timeline for when you “should” feel ready. Everyone’s experience is different.

That said, if you notice that your desire isn’t returning after several months or it’s affecting your well-being or relationship, it’s okay (and encouraged) to reach out for support.

❤️ How to Support Your Libido Gently

1. Prioritize Rest
   It may sound impossible, but carving out time to rest — even short naps — can help improve your energy and mental outlook.
2. Reconnect Emotionally
   Emotional intimacy can help rekindle physical connection. Spend time with your partner without expectations — a walk, a talk, a shared laugh.
3. Focus on Nonsexual Touch
   Gentle cuddling, holding hands, or massages can help you feel close again without pressure.
4. Use Lubrication
   If vaginal dryness is an issue (especially if breastfeeding), a water-based lubricant can help ease discomfort and reduce anxiety about pain.
5. Ask for Help
   Talk to your healthcare provider if:
   • Your libido hasn’t returned after several months
   • You feel detached or depressed
   • Sex is painful long-term
   It could be related to hormonal imbalance, postpartum depression, or pelvic floor issues — all of which are treatable.

💡 Final Thought

Low libido postpartum isn’t a flaw — it’s a sign of a body and mind that’s been through a major transformation. Give yourself permission to heal, be patient, and redefine intimacy at your own pace. You’re doing more than enough — and you are not alone.