When my wife and I found out we were expecting, we both assumed she would take on the majority of leave after our baby arrived. Like many couples, we believed maternity leave would automatically be longer and more protected than anything I could hope for as a dad. But when we looked into our company policies, we were shocked — her benefits were minimal, while mine had the potential to be far more generous if I pushed for it.
At first, it didn’t feel right. Why should I, the father, get more paid time off to bond with our child than the person who carried and delivered the baby? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t just about fairness between us — it was about setting a precedent. If fathers don’t take the leave available to them, workplaces will continue to see caregiving as “women’s work.”
So I fought for it. I had hard conversations with HR, made my case to managers, and refused to accept vague answers. In the end, I secured more paid time off than my wife was granted. And as strange as that felt, it also made me grateful — grateful for the chance to be there in those crucial early months, not just as support for my wife, but as an active, hands-on parent.
But it also opened my eyes to how inequitable the system really is. My wife’s recovery from birth required rest, healing, and space. She deserved as much paid leave as I had — more, even. Yet the outdated structures of maternity versus paternity benefits made it clear that caregiving is still undervalued in our society.
Taking that leave changed me. I bonded with my baby in ways I’ll never forget. I gained a deeper appreciation for the invisible work mothers do every day. And I committed myself to advocating for fair parental leave policies for all parents, not just fathers who happen to work at the right companies.
The irony that I got more time at home than my wife wasn’t lost on either of us. But instead of feeling guilty, I decided to channel that privilege into something larger: pushing for a world where every parent has equal access to paid time off, no matter their gender. Because raising a child is a shared journey — and the system should reflect that.
#PaternityLeave #ParentalRights #WorkingParents #FamilyFirst #FatherhoodJourney